What’s a Great Parent?

What’s a great parent? I can tell you what it isn’t. It isn’t me.

 

I was convinced it wasn’t me coming even close to being a great parent. Have you been there too? Please tell me I’m not the only one who felt that way.

My children and I got into the van late. Once again, we raced out of the driveway, headed to town, 16 miles away for a doctor’s appointment. I glanced in the rear-view mirror to confirm that everyone had seat belts on. However, locking eyes with the youngest child in the back seat, I heard:

Child:   Oooohhh.  Eye shadow.

Me:  Yes. I put on eye shadow.

Child:  Cool!

Me:  What?  Cool?  Why is that cool?

Child:   Enthusiastically strumming an air guitar.  Well…you look like a rock star! A cool rocker!

Ugh!  It was going to be THAT kind of day I guess. On my way to several professional appointments looking like a scary Pink, I was not the polished great parent I hoped to be. I guess I was a bit heavy handed with the “stays-on-until-you-wash-it-off” eye shadow in my rush to get out the door. Searching frantically, I didn’t even find anything to tone it down in my Momnesia tote.

What would it take to convince you that you are a great parent or even a STAR?

I couldn’t possibly believe I was.

For example, one morning before school my daughter said she felt sorry for me.   Smiling at her, I was moved by how sensitive she had become at her young age of seven.  I asked her why she felt sorry for me that early in the morning…when I hadn’t made any mistakes yet.

Then in her sweet little voice, she said that she was sorry because TV moms got to cook good breakfasts for their children every day before school, “and you don’t.”

Her words cut like a knife until I thought about it a minute.  Then I realized she didn’t know me very well if she thought I wanted to cook a big meal of any kind.

Known as a marginal cook during the years I worked outside the home, the only outstanding meals I cooked were holiday meals. Thanks to turkey cooking bags, microwave potatoes, crock pot liners, salad in a bag, boxed dressing and other time saving devices, I did rock at holiday meals.

Every other day, however, I praised the advent of cereal in those small wax-lined boxes and toaster anything—pancakes, waffles—whatever. Bring them on! (In my defense, once I began to learn about all the preservatives and pesticides in prepackaged food, I changed the way I fed my kids.)

Wow! Was I failing as a parent in my children’s eyes?

Did they think I was failing because the ideal mom on TV didn’t exist in my home? And their favorite Aunt Cathy, the gourmet cook, didn’t serve them breakfasts?

The breakfast ad men were selling sizzling hot bacon and fluffy eggs with freshly-squeezed juice. They weren’t selling sloppy jelly sandwiches or a mess on the table when a child practiced pouring their own milk.

Also, they weren’t selling moms running out the door, trying to make a single-parent or two-working-parent household run well. They wanted us to envy that smiling parent pouring syrup on well-formed pancakes shaped like cute animals.

And I did!

I knew moms everywhere did that. However, at that time of my life, I simply couldn’t.

I had to acknowledge that I could be a great mom without serving pancakes shaped like the south end of a bunny going north.

• _{So my waffles came out of the toaster.}

• _{My juice came out of a plastic bottle with a label threatening it was poised to spoil before I got home from work that day.}

• _{And we put peanut butter on everything just to get the protein.}

• _{I was doing my best with what I had going on at that time in my life.}

Where are you in life? Busy mom and dad running to stressful jobs? Single mom trying to hold it together as you do your best? Over-scheduled stay at home mom? Maybe an entrepreneur with more tasks than time?

Do Yourself A Favor And Believe In You

One day I had to decide I was doing a great job. My children were loved, clean and almost always healthy. They got adequate sleep most of the time. They ate regularly and occasionally from the basic food groups.  Because no parent is perfect, I had to decide I was probably a great parent.

“I am a great parent for where we are in life.” That became my mantra as my kids grew into teens.

Then the mantra changed to “I don’t care whose mother said they could do that. You aren’t doing it.”

Even great parents have to change gears as their kids grow. Now my mantra is, “My kids are great parents for where they are in life.” (And they are!)

I have become the encourager I needed when my little kids ate from wax-lined cereal boxes and felt sorry for me at breakfast time.

It’s the circle of life.

Want to snuggle into a warm hoodie that declares your faith or announces a new baby or declares your love for all things pumpkin spice? Look no further than the Clothing product portal.

 

Index of blogs:

What’s a Great Parent?

Case of the Missing Identity

Are You as Strong Willed as Your Strong-Willed Child?

Including Your Children in Your Activities – Part 1

Including Your Children in Your Activities – Part 2

Including Your Children in Your Activities – Part 3